I feel the whole word is changing all around me, but I stay the same. For the first time in my life, I'm just a passive viewer, watching how most people evolve or barely straggle to survive. I manage to extract myself from this complex equation called life. No more drama for me, thank you very much. Let me just stay and enjoy the view. Sure, the view is not always enjoyable, nor entertaining, yet it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling of living among the living.
Let me explain myself to you, because I feel I'm being rather oblique. It's not that I don't care anymore, I do, I do, I do. It's not that I'm not passionate anymore, I am, I am, I am. Yet, I don't feel like involving myself in anything else but my business. Everybody around me have a sad or happy story to tell, have achieved or lost something, and all I have to say about is: that's life, mate. Don't sweat it! I can't help to wonder if this is finally me reaching wisdom, or just losing it slowly. Whatever. Look at me, laying in my bed with the laptop on my knees, listening to the new The Raconteurs album, Consolers of the Lonely, trying to understand the meaning of life. My life. (It suddenly occurs to me that I can totally be Jack White's groupie for a living. I could throw red rose petals on the path his beautiful yet slightly deranged feet grace the ground. I totally would, you know that, don't you?)
On the other hand, my writing is going swell, baby. The other day I wrote a passage I've been dreaming to write since last august. I've finally reached at that point! I can't believe it, I have about 70% of my book already written. Now, about that passage, it's describing one of the darkest, most disturbing, psychedelic states of mind of my hero. I wrote it in a cozy cafe by the sea, with people all around me, but I didn't even noticed their presence. In fact, I'm not sure I even breathed for about an hour or two, until I was done. But it was worth it, the final result is great. I didn't think I had in in me. (Probably that's way I was having murderous tendencies the other day. Something gotta give.) I've finally signed the pact with the Devil, folks!